This is Hard

Dear Father,

Why is life so hard sometimes? Why does it feel like my efforts are going to naught? I want to serve. I want to minister. But it's so hard when the only thing I can do is have fun. How come times I'm ready to read or pray I get distracted by stupid stuff, and times that are set aside for you, I don't feel ready to? Why do I have to feel like a jerk for telling the truth? How do I treat people with love who will be hurt by what I believe? How come I have a hard time bringing you up around others who love you just as much as I do? How in the world am I going to talk about you to people who don't know you if I can't talk to the ones who do? Why do we continue in these banal conversations when we could be talking about you? Why is it so hard to say no to temptation? Are these exams really that important? Why do my friends have to watch the people they care for die slowly and painfully? God, this life is hard.

Lord, please forgive my lack of faith. I can't see where my life is going from my little hole down here. Help me to trust you and not question your control of my life. Instead, show me how I can follow your lead and do whatever your will is. Lord, I need to let go of my wants and desires. Thank you for helping me this far. Take more control from me God. You know what is best for me. I pray for the grace to see what you want me to do.

I want so much, Lord, but you know what I need, and what I can handle. Today, I ask that you give me only that.

Amen.