Merry Christmas!

And to all a good night.

Today was probably one of the most unusual Christmases I've ever had. I got up about 10:00 or 11:00 this morning. Mom and CS were already at work, so Dad and I watched some TV and read. Then Grandma and Grandad and my aunt and uncle came over, followed by Mom and CS when they got off work at 2:30, and we all opened presents. After that we ate a nice Christmas dinner and watched White Christmas. Then everybody went back to Grandma and Grandad's, and the remaining four watched Hero. It really is a good movie, but I probably won't watch it any more, just because I've seen it three times now.

It wasn't a presentless holiday, but I am happy to say that this is the one with the fewest presents that I can remember, and what I did get is very practical - mostly clothes, and some new bed sheets. I am pleased with that.

I'm reading book 7 of the Wheel of Time. It's been pretty good so far, though some times I get frustrated with how slow the plot is moving. But all of these books seem to start off slow and pick up more and more speed as they go along, until in the end there is so much happening that you have a hard time keeping up with it all.

And now I'm realizing that this must be a very boring entry. So here's a new favorite verse of mine for you all to reflect on: (I want a two-page report turned in by Monday. :P )

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
-- Paul, II Corinthians 2:10

To all you shivering northerners: Merry White Christmas!
To all you dripping southerners: Merry Gray Christmas!

May Christ be born again in each of us today and tomorrow and every day after, world without end. Amen.

Home again, home again

Well, after a 12 1/2 hour, 2-stop drive from Nashville, I am home safely. It's nice to relax for a little while and not think about classes, but I miss people, especially Ms. Grady. I had a great time in Louisville. Stella's family was so welcoming, and I felt right at home the whole time I was there. And major thanks to the go stone for putting me up for the night on my way back.

It turns out my old job (the hardware store) doesn't want me back. Bleh. I'm not sure what I'll do now. I really need to make some money, so I can at least pay for car insurance next semester. I don't really want to go back to Walgreens (cigarettes right next to nicoderm cq across from the pharmacy smacks more of late capitalism than I care to think about), but I probably won't have much choice. Cursed coupons!

Funny interview: NPR and Mos Def. I'll bet you can get it online under "Fresh Air" at the NPR site. Gangsta rappa meets Ms. "Smooth and Smarmy", to quote SB. Still, he had some good lyrics, from what I heard between segments of the interview. It restores my faith that hip-hop has a great deal of potential as an expressive form, though that potential is largely untapped in common practice. I dunno. It's late.

Peace out, yo.

This is Hard

Dear Father,

Why is life so hard sometimes? Why does it feel like my efforts are going to naught? I want to serve. I want to minister. But it's so hard when the only thing I can do is have fun. How come times I'm ready to read or pray I get distracted by stupid stuff, and times that are set aside for you, I don't feel ready to? Why do I have to feel like a jerk for telling the truth? How do I treat people with love who will be hurt by what I believe? How come I have a hard time bringing you up around others who love you just as much as I do? How in the world am I going to talk about you to people who don't know you if I can't talk to the ones who do? Why do we continue in these banal conversations when we could be talking about you? Why is it so hard to say no to temptation? Are these exams really that important? Why do my friends have to watch the people they care for die slowly and painfully? God, this life is hard.

Lord, please forgive my lack of faith. I can't see where my life is going from my little hole down here. Help me to trust you and not question your control of my life. Instead, show me how I can follow your lead and do whatever your will is. Lord, I need to let go of my wants and desires. Thank you for helping me this far. Take more control from me God. You know what is best for me. I pray for the grace to see what you want me to do.

I want so much, Lord, but you know what I need, and what I can handle. Today, I ask that you give me only that.

Amen.