Lost Book
Experiments in Nuclear Science
IF YOU FIND THIS BOOK, PLEASE NOTIFY YOUR LOCAL GOURD IMMEDIATELY.
He can't find it, and he needs it to turn in his lab reports!!!
Aggghhhh!!!!!!
*The Gourd proceeds to panic*
posted by The Gourd @ 10/10/2005 12:44:00 PM
26 comments
26 Comments:
sorry man, i usually don't come into contact with books of such a title. i do hope you find it.
but in the meantime i will continue to be my supportive self. you dork.
:3
you're welcome.
:B
yes, which explains why i said "you're welcome" and gave a toothy grin. :B
it was in the backseat of my car. not entirely sure how it got there.
Well. It seems this little escapade is over. Let's have a new post, yes?
nono, let's keep this going by posting as many smarmy comments as possible!
^-^
Hey guys! Guys! Guess who I AM!
"Oh my gosh oh my gosh! I lost my most super important documents! Have you seen them? I would greatly appreciate any aidings! Waaaahhhh! Help!"
actually it's not missing anymore. duh. :3
besides, i think the gourd's book is already taken. by the gourd.
Yellow is the smartest color. That's why I can smell it...
it could be that the mighty gourd is swamped in physics hmwk that he hasn't updated. that's my guess.
*consoles the GSM* don't worry man - someday you'll find the perfect book too.
man....this has, like, GOT to be some record or something. totally.
Why is it every time I do a comment on this blog the word verification is like 800 letters long? Like sometimes I find really hard to read, so I have to type my whole comment again. Grr. Gourd should fix that. It's shorter on GoStone's.
i'm sorry, what was this post about again? i forgot....maybe it was about the gourd and his dreams about geese. we all know he has them.
To understand the idea of the "post", we must first understand the title. "Lost Book" could refer to a few things. First and foremost of the beliefs are that the author wants to display the lack of religion in a majority of Americans today. Homes that used to have dusty bibles on the coffee table and bookshelf now have Cosmopolitan and the latest Harry Potter. (Not to say that Harry Potter is sacreligious, but that it is popular. 'Cosmo' is a pile of filth.) Another belief is that while on a vacation to the great library in Washington DC for a family reunion, a book could not find his way and became "lost". This certiantly accounts for the book's inability to find itself, but leaves us in doubt of the books capability to drive a vehicle. There is also a falsehood going about that a college student misplaced one of his belongings, but any educated person can see the shallow-ness of such a tale. Depending on what you infer from the ambiguous title, your interpretation of the body of the piece will be different. Most find the character's all capitals plea for help astoundingly funny and pitying. However, the grammatically inclined will frown on the exaggerated use of exclamation marks. This could of course only be a tool to show the amount of urgency in the message, but the fact of the matter is, if a normal person lost a book called "Experiments in Nuclear Science", an outcry of horror would certiantly not follow. The saddness at the inexplicable absence of the item only increases the hilarity. Finally, the fact that the main protagonist is a vegetable fuels our confusion. Gourds certiantly can't learn to do anything, and they are most certiantly fat. So to answer a question asked by a subscriber to this program, "What is this post about again?", ask yourself, "How do I feel about science?" Your answer lies there.
.....no one likes a show off, cheese wizard.
raise the bar for us, why don't ya?
i'm in second! w00!
not one to be outdone (well i am, i guess), i have a long comment of my own:
Gourd: common name for some members of the Cucurbitaceae, a family of plants whose range includes all tropical and subtropical areas and extends into the temperate zones. Almost all members of the family are annual herbs that grow as climbing or prostrate vines with spirally coiled tendrils. The characteristic large and fleshy fruit of many genera is often called a pepo; several genera have dry fruits, some with a single seed. The family is known for its many edible and otherwise useful plants. The name gourd is applied to those whose fruits have hard, durable shells used for ornament and as utensils, e.g., drinking cups, dippers, and bowls. The Old World genus Lagenaria includes the calabash, dipper, and bottle gourds. Luffa cylindrica is the loofah, dishcloth gourd, or vegetable sponge; when the edible fruit–called California okra in the S United States–is bleached dry, the inner fibrous network is used as a filter or a scrubbing sponge. Among the many other gourds are the serpent, or snake, gourd (Trichosanthes anguina) of Indomalaysia, whose slender fruit reaches 6 ft (1.8 m) in length. Many of the edible members of the family have been cultivated for so long–often since prehistoric times–that a single species may include several quite different varieties. Cucurbita includes the pumpkin, the vegetable marrow, and the summer squashes (all varieties of C. pepo); the winter squashes (varieties of C. maxima); and the crooknecks and the cheese pumpkin (varieties of C. moschata). Cucumis (see melon) includes the cucumbers (C. sativus) and the gherkins (C. anguria); C. melo includes all melons except the watermelon, which, together with the citron, or preserving, melon, is Citrullis vulgaris. Of the few members of the family indigenous to the United States, the colocynth, or bitter-apple (Citrullis colocynthis), yields a powerful laxative from the dried pulp, and the wild balsam apple, or prickly cucumber (Echinocystis lobata), characteristically explodes when ripe, shooting out its seeds–as does the Mediterranean squirting cucumber (Ecballium elaterium). Bryony (two species of Bryonia), cultivated in Central Europe as a cover vine, has long been valued locally for the medicinal properties of its roots. The African genus Dendrosicyos is a unique member of the family in that it grows as a small, bushy tree. Gourds are classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Violales, family Cucurbitaceae.
See L. H. Bailey, The Garden of Gourds (1937); U.S. Dept. of Agriculture publications on melons and squash.
hehe. :3
This is going to come out harsh, but that sucked. I read the WHOLE thing waiting for the punchline and there TOTALLY wasn't one. I'm dissapointed, really.
A+ for length and uh... typing skillz, but really, truly, a D- for a final grade.
My word verification is mwavla. hee hee.
who said we had to have a "punchline" after every comment? that wasn't in the syllabus!
and yeah, i copied and pasted. no woman in her right (or wrong) mind would type all that. bah.
and i was commenting solely for the gourd's pleasure. i thought he would like the facts about gourds and such.
for the gourd? isn't he already taken or something?
You know, I've thought about making a new post, but why bother when I'm getting so much mileage out of this one?
hey yall, make sure you come to anteaters ball please. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.
And now for a special halloween joke...... How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
Listen to his coffin! Doohoo!
you should make a new post to prove you're not bloglazy. yes, bloglazy.
i have a halloween joke as well.
how could you tell the ghost was a messy eater?
he was a goblin! (gobbling)
HA! :3
On-topic? More like, on-toothpick!
....which means something, I'm sure.
Hmm. So anyone have a Thanksgiving joke??
What key has legs and can't open doors?
(figure it out)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turkey Riddle
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
HAHAH! HAA! haaha! haa! ...haha....heh.
Gooble gobble gobble!!
GOBBLE!
Ode to Gourd
O faithful gourd, thy name is physics!
undying nerdiness, unfailing wit!
O great keeper of the Underground,
thy rejoicing fans unite!
O mighty bearer of danishes,
don't talk to me, i have to pee!
O gracious dancer of mambo leo,
this is so freaking exciting!
O forgetful forgetter of books,
my life is blessed by you!
O faithful gourd, thy name is physics!
undying nerdiness, unfailing wit!
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